“Congratulations Dustin!”

“We have a secure line Mr. Trump……..you can get through to his office in the Langevin block”

“Thanks Trip”

“Hello…….hello”

“Hello Pierre, congratulations on your victory”

“It’s Justin”

“Oh………right,…..sorry  about that Dustin. So you won big last night. I just wanted to say I am looking forward to working with you and the Canadian Congress”

“Um….okay…….on what?”

“Well, as the future president I was told by my advisors that its important that I reach to build relationships with foreign leaders…..and since you are brand new it made sense. I was going to call Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah
Jaber Al-Mubarak Al-Hamad Al-Sabah in Kuwait but I wasn’t sure whether he went by ‘Sab’ or ‘Al’…so I thought I would start with you. Quite the win last night……why did you ignore the 8 year term limit with Harper Lee?”

“Hmm…..in a Parliamentary democracy there are no term limits so a Prime Minister can serve for a long long time  – so long as he gets the majority of seats in the House of Commons. By the way……..its called Parliament, not Congress, and my name is Justin”

“Right, so Dustin, did you see my tweet last night after your victory?”

“No”

“Well, I said ‘that’s what you get for messing with a guy’s hairstyle#TrudeauReady’”

“Okay……well I think there were a bunch of things that went into our victory last night aside from my hair – I can point to a lack of a Tory program that inspired a vision for our nation, a lack of inclusiveness, a lack of transparency,  a government that fostered divisiveness between people…….I focused on bringing people together”

“Dustin……I get it. That was a good marketing campaign, but you realize that you are going to have to fire people. I remember the time I fired Joan Rivers – she and her daughter screamed and left their luxury apartment in Trump Tower West in New York in a huff. I brought people together all the time and then fired them one by one……….you just get used to it”

“Well, not in Canada – I have been given a clear mandate with 38.56% of the popular vote. And its not about me, its not about Gary Busey, Dennis Rodman, or Joan Rivers……..its about YOU………..”

“Of course its about me. I am on the best run ever. The bankruptcy think was way overplayed. I bring big ratings to Fox and to CNN even though they hate me……….”

“No its about the Canadian people……….I didn’t do it ….they did it”

“Got it. You don’t have to yell. Are you able to send me your guy who was responsible for your ‘Hair strategy’ on this campaign? By the way, do you like my hair?”

“As Canadians, we know that Better is Always possible”