Ladies & Gentleman, Mates – please stand for our National Anthem
Archive for November, 2015
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“It’s so nice to be able to meet with you guys today……love working on the factory floor with you guys”
“Bill, do you remember that Blue Explorer SUV where we found that one of the lug nuts was loose?”
“Sure do”
“Bill , do you remember that blue Ford Focus that came off the line in 2011 that has that slight blemish on the paint job….you know, on the side door?”
“In fact, I do”
“Hey Bill, remember that green Ford Escape that came off the line……..it was the 133rd one we completed that day”
“Absolutely, How could I forget it. Umm……guys, how many of these do I have to remember again?”
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Ford Recalls Half a Million Cars
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt
It’s their game. It’s not yours.
The toughest thing for a parent is knowing when to ‘back off’, when to ‘let go’ of some of the strings. It’s the same for a hockey coach. The tough part is knowing when.
Sometimes I do an experiment with my hockey teams. After our drills, I will announce that we are going to have a scrimmage. I go over for a drink of water, and ask the other coaches to join me. Then we watch what happens.
If you have an Atom Team you will see the kids head off in all directions firing pucks. Two or three will be pleading with you to start the scrimmage – but for the most part it looks the famed ‘Idiot 100 Yard dash from a Monty Python skit’. You have to rein it in to get it going.
It’s different for Peewees. And its different between a first and second year Peewee player – 11, 12 year olds. You will see them scatter about and then after a few minutes they come together to structure their play.
Last night the 4 coaches selected the leadership group for our Peewee team. It was a collective decision based on our observations of 8 games and 10 practices. There was a a lot of consensus on the decision.
Last night we turned the leadership of the team over to the kids. It was a tough game against a good aggressive team. But they stepped up more than ever……’because they owned it’.
We went down to an 8-5 defeat ….but we never gave up and scored with 4 seconds left.
In every thing but they scoreboard….the South Delta Peewee Winterhawks were big winners last night.
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“Pull over, Pull over to the side of the road”
Pull Overs ……….Sears, 17.95
Pull Overs………Amazon 18.95 S, M, L, XL
Pull Overs …..Walmart $3.95 XXXL
Did you mean Plover?
See Seabirds
“License & Registration Sir”
Licenses…Rights clearance, talent management, song rights
Licenses……..noun. ‘A permit from an authority to own or use something, do a particular thing, or carry on a trade’
Licenses ……Marriage license. Separation. Divorce ……counselling
Did you mean Lye Scents?
“Hey Don’t Give me Any Lip”
Lips ……..Jagger…….I’m so hot for her, start me up, Keef falls out of tree
Lips….lipstick…. 14 best lipstick brands ……
Lips …fake lips…..Hallowe’een
Lips …….Jenna …….
“Hey, I’m not interested in seeing your naughty pictures? Get out the car!”
Naughty…..Nice, list, checking twice
Naughty Surprises for spouse….. erotic cave, Schenectady, NY, just off I
Naught…….all for naught…….Seattle last play superbowl.
Did you mean knotty?
“Put your Hands Up ..Get on the Ground…or I’ll Blow your Head off”
Hands up, Hands up, give me your heart, give me your heart………..exciting vacations at Club Med
Hands up …..Nail Esthetician certificate. Digit Academy. Heavenly Spa
Hands up…..coffee ground café………….answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind’
Did you mean handsome?
“Roger, I need back up – 10-4 – send over a couple of cruisers and a couple of Search Engines”
“Roger Maris…….61, 61, 61.
Roger……Buck Rogers space gun …$9.95 Toys R Us
Roger ……
“Shut up ……..”
Just maybe, just maybe there is a difference in strategies that need to be considered in overtime when participating in a 3 -on-3 format versus a 4- on – 4 format.
What’s clear is that the Vancouver Canucks have failed to adapt quickly enough to the changes.
You can afford to have Daniel and Henrik on the ice in a 4 -on -4 owing to the fact that you have 2 defensemen and you can use puck control and deception tactics to gain the upper hand.
However, it’s not so much a steeplechase anymore as it is a flat out race in the quarter mile to the post.
The Canucks haven’t spent enough time on the new guys who have flat- out speed and are perhaps wasting time with the Sedins and their cycling.
And this comes from an avowed Sedins fan.
The NHL today hired noted Swiss psychologist Herman Rorshach to help solve the lack of scoring in the league.
NHL President Garry Betzmen made the announcement from his couch in the NHL offices in downtown New York.
“Herm has done some wonderful work with goaltenders asking them what they see in various pictures and clearly they have been getting the upper hand versus the shooters” said Betzman. ” We thought we would enlist his help with the entire league to help the shooters”.
Apparently Rorshach has invented some new net configurations for the league. The goaltender will only be given one hour’s notice before the game to work on strategies to protect these new nets.
The NHL have shared the shape of the new nets, which have been open to interpretation by hockey pundits and writers across America.
“One fan even slapped me when she looked at it” said Nashville Predators General Manager, Bobby McFerrin.
“I like them” said Vern Mistrik of Ardrossan Alberta. “Some of the games will be really crazy. I like the nude woman I see in the net”
Increasing Goal Scoring in the NHL
Posted: November 12, 2015 in UncategorizedTags: NHL General Manager's Meeting
At the General Managers meeting this week, there is a lot of discussion on how to improve goal scoring in the NHL.
Mark Twain once said that people who are ‘generally speaking’ are typically ‘speaking generally’ – hopefully in this case they aren’t ‘managing generally’ and will make fundamental change.
There are two main issues that they are looking at;
- Reducing the size of the goalie pads
- Increasing the size of the hockey Net
Interesting that they missed the opportunity brought to everyone’s attention some 20 years ago when they were building new arenas -Montreal, Toronto. Boston, Chicago, Vancouver – when John Davidson, he of the recent hiring of John Tortorella fame – posited that it might be a good time to look at the dimensions of the rink itself.
Herewith, I have some suggestion on how to fix the issue of scoring goals in the NHL.
Ban Goalie Jock straps
Empower the scorekeepers to add a goal to liven things up!
Shrink the puck…..make it really, really tiny…….like really itty bitty…
Fire the coaches and put the bus driver or trainer on the bench to coach the team and implement the ‘offensive zone trap’
Rotate the 20 players through a 20 game schedule with each player getting one game.
Constantly move the nets – like the old Atari game!
Change the name of every award handed out to The Rocket Richard Trophy – ‘Rocket Richard #1 Trophy’, ‘Rocket Richard #2 Trophy’….
Make Dave Reece the official goaltending coach of the NHL
Hire an anti-goalie psychologist to work with the goalies before each game and counsel them with sayings like
‘you’re a sieve’, ‘you couldn’t stop a balloon’, ‘I bet you’re a wack-job outside of the rink too – and so are your parents, right?’
Put Johnny Bower in net
Take away the goalie masks
Hire the Leafs Defense …………..for every team
Change the game to a big Hockey Pantomime (Cooperalls were once a pant o -mine, and others too!)……where the players get to raise their sticks if they even THINK they scored. But stop the goalies are stopped from raising their gloves if they THINK they saved it.
Ban the use of the term ‘shutout’………..and start all goals against average at a baseline of ‘4’.
Automatically enroll any goalie over 6’5″ into basketball.
Invite Atom goalies to every NHL Game to skate in the warm up with the team – the surprise ’em by putting them in the net!
Nice try Beaverfoot!
I am not falling for that one again.
If this happens – what are they going to do with all the Aussies and Kiwis that land on our shores in the next couple of months for ski season!
Resort Offers Temporary Lodging for Refugees
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free………and we’ll get ’em to ski down our mountains!”
pucksense 