Trump & Trudeau Meet
“Welcome to the United States Dustin. How is Dave doing?”
“Dave?”
“Yes Dave ‘The Hammer’ Schultz”
“Good…ah..um.. I guess”
“And Moose? Did Bobby get some new teeth?”
“Umm….I believe so”
“What about Reggie Dunlop? Is he still the Captain of the Johnstown Jets?”
“Isn’t that a movie?”
“Listen – I got Mexico to build us a wall. I want you guys to build us a bridge. Can you do that?”
“Yep – we can do that. Done. But we get to name if after Gordie Howe.”
“By the way, I am not going to mention the fact that over 9 million Canadians have died during your Obama Care program since its inception”
“Actually, we call it Medicare. It’s been in place almost 50 years for heaven’s sake. Most of them died of old age after living long healthy lives”
“Well facts are facts. By the way if the press ask me a question with the word ‘facts’ in it I am going to say ‘Yes, but that’s not Trudeau’. Can you back me up on that?”
“Certainly”
“I want to let you know that I held a press conference and I phoned up the Premier in Newfoundland and asserted that the US will support the ‘One Canada’ policy”
“The premier of Newfoundland? What did he say”
“How would I know?. I didn’t have my interpreter and I just transmitted – I didn’t need a response anyways.Hey, in exchange I was wondering – I would like some of Niagara Falls just for ourselves. Thinking of calling it the ‘American Falls’. What do you think?”
“I can go with that”
“As you well know Dustin, I am working on protecting our borders. I understand that you guys have an underground railway – started way back in the 1860’s or something like that – my understanding is that it still might be operational. I am going to need you to divulge its location.”
“I’ll get my advisor Pierre Burton working on that”
“By the way, did any of the folks in Saksashe…Sakawakawache…Skats..
“Saskatchewan”
“Yes, Saskatchewan. Was anyone upset over that massacre in Fargo a few years back?”
“Wasn’t that the Coen Brothers’ movie?”
“Based on a true story. Oh, and you better let the hockey community know that I am going to have to slap a tariff on Zambonis”
“No problem – you guys make them though. They are made in California”
“Even worse! Okay – ready for the press conference?”
“Press conference?”
“You got anything for me?”
“Yes – can you let go of my hand!”
pucksense 