Seeking Immortality

I find it funny when I hear some people dismiss professional athletes as people just in it for the money, just focused on the business. I have read and heard of instances where that is in fact the case, but it is pretty rare where a top draft choice takes the ‘signing bonus’ and just runs away with it, losing all motivation. Yes, if they were just in it for the money, once the bonus came in…….they would lose their ‘edge’, their competitive thrust.

In the Globe and Mail article this morning an article on the Blue Jays season, has a quote by Jose Reyes, the 31 year old shortstop who said

“You get to a point in your career when you just want to win”

Most professional athletes are wired differently. They are ultra-competitive. I remember Kevin Lowe saying that the signature element of a professional athlete isn’t his desire to win……so much as him hating to lose. I thought that was profound and disturbing at the same time. It comes from the Donald Trump school of business.

“Show me a good loser…….and I will show you a loser”

In the professional ranks athletes are not necessarily balanced individuals – not saying they are crazy at all – but they have a narrow all-consuming focus driven by the fact they have to stay competitive to remain world class in what they do.

They are driven more by ego – and ego comes from insecurity more than anything else. And it is this insecurity that drives them to achieve, to strive for championships, to be cheered & applauded………and ultimately ‘validated’ for what they are …a world class athlete. There is nothing more validating in the hockey world than getting your name put on the Stanley Cup. For the rest of time  as we know it, your name will be carried on a Silver Trophy to all places in the world. While you are alive, you can bring it home and show it to your friends – you can even play a ‘street hockey game’ like you did as a kid and give it away, just like Martin Brodeur did with his buddies after he won it.

Bill Nyrop, a US hockey player from Minnesota, died an unfortunate early death due to cancer some 12 + years ago. He had played defence with the Montreal Canadiens and had won the Stanley Cup with them. Unfortunately he lost his Stanley Cup ring. Upon his death his wife contacted the Canadiens and told them it was the one thing he lamented more than anythiing else in his life. The Canadiens immediately created another Stanley Cup ring for him. It was placed upon his finger, and he was buried with it . It was his signpost immortality – of his significance to have been part of a group that achieved the highest of success in hockey.

Minor Hockey Coach: The Toughest Gig in Hockey

“In my 11 years of coaching minor hockey, I have lost more friends than I have made”

That statement was shared with me yesterday by a new business acquaintance. A very nice man, my age, who shares a passion for hockey and for coaching with me. He tells me of situations where he lost friendships based on the kids he chose to play for his team, or choices he made during the season on who he plays, or in chosing who was going to be captains or assistant captains for a team.

He related a story in which was speaking with a former NHL coach who had a player on his team. This man told him

“As a minor hockey coach you have a much tougher job than I did in the pros. And the difference is …you can’t win”

The essence of the message from this former pro hockey coach was this. In dealing with fellow members’ children you are entrusted to the most precious asset. They will do everything to make sure that this child is cared for, tended to, and raised in a manner that gives them the best chance at success in life. A minor hockey parent is not necessarily informed or experienced in the breadth and structure of the wider ‘hockey world’.

In the professional ranks it is the player, an adult, that a coach deals with. And there is economic leverage that can be exercised. When a hockey player arrives in the professional hockey ranks, he has experienced a wide spectrum of hockey, having his character forged by the fires that he had to go through to get there– he knows the gig. He knows of the wider ‘world market’ of hockey talent and the unrelenting competition it holds. The coach has the power of  either giving, or not giving, playing time and the player who understands his performance is dependent on that.

It is an interesting dichotomy that those minor hockey coaches who would volunteer their time – owing to their passion and love for the game of hockey, and the love of coaching kids – would face such a daunting task , while those who get paid for it have a much more defined set of rules and norms in which to operate.

It was brought front and center the other night when a coach of one of our A teams decided to withdraw his services as a volunteer. He was 4 weeks into a season coaching a team of other people’s kids.  He had no kid on the team-his is a top notch player who is playing in the WHL. He came forward to help out, but he heard rumblings that there was dissatisfaction by some parent with the complexity and intensity of the practices.

Some of the kids came to him directly to give him feedback -encouraged to do so by their parents who gave their kids an important life lesson in self responsibility and personal integrity . It was noteworthy that these kids did something that some of the other parents on the team wouldn’t or couldn’t do as themselves as adults . Instead they decided to rumour-monger and seek support for changing a coach. What a shame – and somewhat shameful at the same time.

We met for 1.5 hours the other night. As President I put forth the position of the Association and of its volunteers. I don’t think I made any friends with a few of the folks – I don’t know as I am not familiar with this group – but based on the post meeting feedback to the Board in emails and conversation – it is clear that they were happy that someone would stand up to address this. Like a team itself, an association needs to find ways to work together…and sometimes that takes a tough discussion on accountability. As a former hockey player, and now a coach, and now a President I have been in many of these rooms where some tough conversations take place. They are healthy things to have – and ultimately as a team player I know that after that is over, we need to move forward as  a group, as a team, with full respect for one another.